I love to sleep. I look forward to getting at least a good 8-10 hours of sleep each night. However last night or this morning, I woke up at 4:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep. Now here’s some background on my bedtime prep that allows me a full nights sleep. I have an early dinner around five, which gives me ample time to slow down and prepare for bed time. I will make a golden milk drink to relax me, followed by a long bath. Then there’s prayers and meditation right before the lights come off, which is around 9pm. I stuck to my usual routine last night, but my eyes flew open and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I laid awake in the dark, my mind wandering from one thing to the next. From a meteor hitting the East coast to what my pups dreamt about, which led me to think about the times when Jesus had a hard time sleeping. With the weight of the world on His shoulders as the fulfillment of the prophecy drew closer, He often sought the company of His Dad. Mark 1:35 says, “And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.” Even our all powerful Christ Jesus SOUGHT HIS FATHERS COUNSEL. Waking up early in the morning left me seeking His counsel as well, because there had to be a reason why my sleep was interrupted so. So, in a very hard attempt to live a more holier and godly life, I decided that every time I woke up earlier than usual, I would seek God’s company in the quiet of the still early morning.

The following night, I slept until the alarm woke me up at 6am. It was still early, so instead of reading any news or staring at the ceiling, I instead crawled to my prayer corner and began to talk to God. From 6am until 8am, I prayed, meditated and read scripture. It wasn’t any structure to what I did, it was what I felt I needed at that particular moment and what will sustain me throughout the day. By the time the sun rose and highlighted a brilliant orange across the sky, I felt invigorated and ready to tackle the day. As the day progressed and things got hectic, I reverted back to that quiet peace. When I became born again at the beginning of the year, I promised myself, I would spend as much time with God as possible because I wanted a deeper relationship with Him. Simply to spend time with Him and talk, praying and communicating is cathartic. Each morning around the same time, I talk His ears off about everything. I mean from politics to movies to my husband and my daughter and to the puppies. I talk to Him ABOUT EVERYTHING! Now, when I began doing this every day for the past year, the days that something happened where I couldn’t get to spend alone time with God, I felt lost. Almost, like when you send a text to someone and you don’t get a response right away. I get we’re all busy with life, so imagine how God feels when we’re too busy to AT LEAST REACH OUT AND THANK HIM FOR ANOTHER DAY TO BE ALIVE! Colossians 3:17 reminds us that, “Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” See, someone giving you the chance see another day, definitely warrants a THANK YOU!

I mentioned earlier, the times I didn’t get the chance to fully spend time with God my feelings of loss, but He’s so good, HE UNDERSTANDS life happens. The effort I’ve made each day to meet up with Him over hazelnut lattes and bible talk, left me voracious for more of Him. I can’t imagine not taking my issues to anyone else, but Him. While He already knows what’s up, me telling Him giving my account on whatever situation I’m facing, brings a supernatural perspective that no human being can ever and will ever give me. Spending quality time with Him and truly releasing our emotions to Him, whether good of bad, is more liberating than any therapist I’d ever been to and believe me I’ve been to several. Nowadays, I find myself talking to God in my sleep, just thanking Him for being so good to me and providing me with a great life. While there’s still adversity, life’s pretty good right now and it’s because of Him. I did nothing. If anything, I did a lot of whining and crying to Him about why did this happen to me, blah, blah, blah. He turned the “why did this happen to me” to “why not me.” I am stronger, kinder, compassionate, loving, patient and wiser, ONLY because of Him. The old Jill was selfish. The new Jill, imperfect, broken and flawed is why she needs A LOT OF JESUS. She’s broken. But, seeking the presence of God, she’s better able to navigate her walk by listening to God’s direction by silencing her mouth and mind, so she can hear His voice. Nothing compares to our late night talks, because I must say, while He does have issues with me watching SYFY and horror movies and I’ve indeed pleaded my case, the one thing that makes my heart sing is knowing this man loves me even though I analyze “The Meg” with Him. What a great way to start the day than with  The One who Created Life and even if we don’t HE STILL LOVES US, because of FREE CHOICE. I’ll make sure to thank Him tonight after “The conjuring 2.” He doesn’t like that one at all.


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